Words May Break Our Spirit

The words kept emanating from my mouth.

“You are dumb.”

“You are useless.”

“Why are you even here?”

“You don’t matter.”

Each statement was a dagger to my heart, but I continued to pierce myself; repeating the words aloud, over, and over, to myself.

Then the tears started to flow…

Arriving home, I headed straight to bed; pulling the covers over my head, as my husband looked on, wondering what in the world happened. 

It was a Saturday back in 2015; I was returning home from a conference in New Hampshire that was both uplifting and empowering.  I should have been on cloud 9, instead, on the ride home, I started critiquing my presentation, until a thick cloud of despair and despondency, descended upon me.

A New Day

The next day, I pulled myself together to attend church service.  I managed to paste a smile on my face, though my heart was wounded from the words I had told myself the day before.

Towards the end of the service, I was unexpectedly called to the front by a family friend, who then presented me with this beautiful watch. 

The friend then expressed that I had been an inspiration to them, as well as a great source of strength and support throughout their life.

Releasing – Reassuring – Rejoicing

Imagine my AMAZEMENT at the timing of this presentation.   This act of love and appreciation flowed over me like a balm; permeating the holes I had created with my words, and healing my heart.

Isn’t it just like God, who knows what we need, and when we need it.

My tears started to flow again; this time however, they were:

• Tears of Release – I was letting go of the lies, I had spoken to myself.
• Tears of Reassurance – I was assured my life matters.
• Tears of Rejoicing – I was filled with joy because God sees, God hears, God knows -And God acts.

Your Words Matter

What words are you speaking to yourself? 

What inadequacies, insecurities or failures defines how you see yourself?

There is power in what we speak.  What we say to ourselves matters.  Words have the power to create and words have to power to destroy. We can speak words to discount our achievements, or we can speak words that add merit.

In her book on Presence, Amy Cuddy states, “We tend to exaggerate our failures and minimize our successes, or we allow ourselves to be defined by one failure.”

Sometimes we allow past failures and/or mistakes to label us.  Thus, keeping us confined or stuck, which prevents us from moving forward.

Sometimes, even in the face of great victories or accomplishments, we tell ourselves we are failures. 

I am reminded of the prophet Elijah in I Kings 19.  This powerful man of God had just experienced victory on the mountain.  He commanded the sun to stand still and called down fire from heaven in the previous chapter.  Yet, there he was in the wilderness, sitting under a tree, and praying for death.   Concluding that even with all he had done, it was still not enough.   As he slept, he was awakened by an angel who gave him food to eat and water to drink.  Later, he was refreshed, renewed, and ready to move forward.

The House You Live In

I have come a long way since that day in 2015.  I am learning to counteract any lies that comes to mind, with truth of who I am.   I wear my watch consistently.  It serves as a constant reminder of my worth. 

There is a game I loved playing whenever I visited an amusement park called “Whack-A-Mole. The game is played from a machine that consists of a display screen and a large mallet. The base area has five holes that are filled with moles. You receive a point by whacking each mole back into the hole, as it it pops up randomly. The faster you whack, the higher your score. Sometimes a mole will pop up immediately from the hole you just hit, so you have to have your eyes peeled on every hole, and be quick to give a whack, should one appear.

I must admit, I was very good at Whack-A-Mole, given my powerful left hand; I would whack that mole, with all my might, as soon as it pops out. I am using that same technique whenever negative thoughts or words comes to mind. I whack down those negative thoughts with the Word of God. And, I’ve gotten quicker with my response time, over the years.

Hafiz said, “The words you speak becomes the house you live in.”

I want to live in a house that is sustainable, so I choose to speak words that empowers me.

I build my house with words such as:

Beautiful, Blessed, Courageous, Determined, Extraordinary, Kind, Loved, Passionate, Strong, Unforgettable, Unique, Victorious & Wise

What words have you used to build your house?

It might be time to renovate and get yourself a tangible reminder of the new you and whatever you do, don’t forget to “Whack-A-Lie”

Be Well,

With the Water I Give.

P.S. – And yes, I’m wearing my watch as I press Publish on this post!